Why We Never Truly Outgrow the Art That Saves Us

Like everyone else with FOMO from missing Coachella, weekends one and two left me feeling emotional and nostalgic after Justin Bieber’s headlining performances. Even though I can respect the mixed discourse online, I can’t seem to get behind the notion that his performance fell short.

Whether you were a Belieber when you were younger or not, even through the tiny 6.1-inch iPhone screen, you could feel how much it meant for him and everyone in the audience to experience these performances.

That collective feeling and embracement of being a fan really made me think about my experiences growing up as a fangirl and why we never truly outgrow the art that saves us.

The Weird Reality of Parasocialism 

When I was in middle school, Youtube first came to the App Store, and creators like Makeupbymandy24 and Justin Bieber found an audience through posting on social media platforms. This new way of gaining attention from the public on the internet unlocked the door to a different type of parasocialism.

Parasocialism refers to a nonreciprocal socio-emotional connection with media figures such as celebrities or influencers. The word was originally coined by University of Chicago sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl, who observed television viewers engaging in “para-social” relationships with on-screen personalities, resembling those they formed with “real” family and friends. It was also the 2025 Cambridge word of the year that has become more and more prominent as society transforms into a more virtual world.

Unlike the often misleading headlines tabloids relied on to sell celebrity gossip, the rise of the internet gave creators a way to share themselves directly with audiences. And, for the first time, people were interested in offering their opinion based exclusively on content. This, in turn, created a more personal relationship with fans unlike any actor or celebrity had experienced before.

Justin Bieber, a kid who loved to sing and post videos on YouTube, sold out tours and made a connection with fans all around the world thanks to his music. Supporters became Beliebers, and young girls around the world began to identify with being a fan of the young artist.

Internet fame slowly became the new celebrity over the next decade, and in 2020, TikTok blew up. Going live on the new platform pushed creators during the pandemic to post while giving viewers a deeper look into who they are. 

Over the last decade, parasocial relationships have slowly engrained itself into popular culture, leaving traditional celebrities to find new ways to connect with their audiences through their social media presence. 

Before the internet, this level of transparency didn’t really exist for celebrities. Fans were crazed and obsessed, but there was never a need for someone famous to show who they are outside of the character they were playing to gain popularity.

Today, the rise in streaming on platforms like Twitch and Kick has brought yet another new wave of parasocialism to the media. Streamers have become well-known online and are sometimes even used to market for other “mainstream” celebrities looking to relevantly connect with their audience.

The Genuine Love & Community Created Thanks to Childhood Obsessions

While parasocial relationships do exist and the comments section online is filled with people assuming they know the character of someone, most fans aren’t leaving hate comments or stalking their favorite artists’ every move.

The genuine ones—the people searching for a community—admire celebrities and internet personalities for much more than people can grasp. 

And yes, to be a fan of anyone is technically parasocial, but the true sense of togetherness music, art, and, honestly, just common interests can make humans feel what fans admire about someone famous.

Have you ever met a stranger who was equally obsessed with one of your interests? Were you immediately drawn closer to them because of this?

I believe fans of anyone are humans looking for commonality and connection. The closer we feel to other people, even through an artist, makes us inherently feel less alone. 

And as humans, we all tend to feel alone. Even in a world full of other people who are just like us. 

But, through glimpses of childhood obsessions and fandoms, you can feel true, palpable love that community brings to humans.

That’s why it was such a huge moment for Billie Eilish to go up on stage and be the one less lonely girl during Justin’s weekend two performance. Before Billie was a celebrity, she was simply a dedicated fan. Seeing her on stage, achieving the dream her 10-year-old self had imagined her whole life, warmed my heart.

Because I know, as a retired fangirl, how much it truly meant to her. 

So yeah, parasocial relationships are odd, and the internet has brought the weird out of some people, but the genuine love that I have felt because I was a fan is indescribable. The friendships I have created and maintain to this day because we simply liked the same band are something no one will ever get unless they’ve experienced it themselves.

And while I don’t understand loving maybe a Minecraft YouTuber, for example, I can respect a fan admiring someone who makes them feel seen. 

Can you?

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Thank you so much for reading! Shoutout to anyone who is a retired fan girl. I hope you nurture that little girl in you who still loves your childhood obsession, any chance you can get. 

XOXO